He was quite certain that life mostly was nothing but creation and evolution. Boys were supposed to become men and all that shit, and the men build families and houses and empires. He thought a lot about the word man, and the word man was different than the idea of a man, and the idea of a man was nothing but a social construct forced upon him.
Most men fight demons and they spend so much time fighting demons that they just stay. Stunted.
He was deep in thought and did not want to have sex with his girlfriend. Sex with him, he knew, was an event that took too much energy. He wanted to save his energy for pondering. He knew she really wanted to, though, because her eyes and her hands became needy creatures with fangs and a bone to pick with him for not giving her everything she wanted.
He let her give him head, and she seemed fine with that. He didn’t ask if she needed anything in return, but she didn’t seem to be unsatisfied so he just let it go.
He actually thought maybe a nap would be better than thinking. His girlfriend asked him for his credit card, and he gave it to her so she wouldn’t bother him for awhile. Mostly, he liked to be alone.
Most men stop fighting only to rest their minds.
“Have you ever watched a person die?” He asked his girlfriend, who was done shopping, and was lingering around his personal space until he noticed her.
“Is this some role playing game?” She asked, suddenly excited. Her eyeballs leaped across the room and did a joyful dance. He stared blankly at her silly eyes.
“You are stupid. I am not sure why I love you.” he said, and she took it as a compliment.
“Most people have bodies of water, but you have a body of Vodka,” she said, and he took it as a compliment.
"Your religion is one of apathy. You worship not giving a shit about shit." She told him, on the last day they spent together.
Later on, she told her friends he was probably gay. This was the only explanation for how little they had sex, and why he hardly looked up from the movie he was watching when she finally left for good.
Lara Konesky is a 33 year old part time ESL teacher, lazy bum ass, and writer from Columbus, Ohio. Her first book, Next to Guns, can be found at www.grievousjonespress.com (Grievous Jones Press, 2009). She co-edited (with Andrew Taylor, Erbacce Press) and contributed to Blood at the Chelsea (Erbacce Press 2010), an anthology of writers writing for other writers. You can also read Lara's work online and in print at New Aesthetic, Gutter Eloquence, Curbside Splendor, Word Riot, Left Hand Waving, and various other rad places.…