Mountain Dew Mouth, Not Just Meth-Mouth

I'd just like to note here that my addic­tion to Moun­tain Dew end­ed at about age 24, or when I left grad school.  Fur­ther, I'd like to point out that I lost 20 pounds in a month sim­ply switch­ing to Diet Pep­si. Even fur­ther, my addic­tion to Diet Pep­si, which mea­sures in the gal­lons per week cat­e­go­ry even now, is sup­posed to be bet­ter for you. I don't count on it, but like the old smok­ers used to say, something's got to kill me, and I think DP is pret­ty low on that list.

But, I have a real­ly dif­fi­cult time drink­ing water unless I'm out­side doing some­thing phys­i­cal, so I drink DP instead.  And when you grow up with undrink­able water, well, what do you expect?

[sar­casm] I'm sure the Mar­cel­lus Shale drilling will make the water so much bet­ter too.[/sarcasm]

This arti­cle comes to us from Dothan, Alaba­ma, from the Dothan Eagle.

Some­where along the way, Moun­tain Dew has got­ten lumped in with pot­ted meat and air­brushed T‑shirts as an iden­ti­fi­er of low social status.

I’m not exact­ly sure when it hap­pened, but the sug­ary, high caf­feine bev­er­age is com­ing to be increas­ing­ly asso­ci­at­ed with tack­i­ness by the var­i­ous cul­tur­al trend­set­ters of our soci­ety, late night tele­vi­sion hosts, mag­a­zine arti­cles, etc.

I’ve noticed in recent years a sort of food snob­bery devel­op­ing in our pop­u­lar cul­ture. The nat­ur­al foods crowd looks down their noses at the fast food dri­ve-thru line, the lat­te sip­pers view con­sumers of soda as res­i­dents of Tobac­co Road, and Heav­en save us all from the con­de­scen­sion of the veg­ans and the wrath of their ane­mic fury for us wicked carnivores.

To be sure, there’s some valid­i­ty behind the back­lash against Moun­tain Dew. Den­tists in Appalachia have spent a con­sid­er­able amount of time treat­ing “Moun­tain Dew Mouth,” exces­sive cav­i­ties in chil­dren and adults brought on by large amounts of soda. And it prob­a­bly doesn’t help that it’s sold in 24-ounce, 64-ounce and dia­bee­tus sizes at the con­ve­nience stores. More.

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7 Responses to Mountain Dew Mouth, Not Just Meth-Mouth

  1. Jason says:

    I know this is 6 years lat­er but I didn't have any issues until about 2 years ago I start­ed get­ting cav­i­ties and the den­tist I went to after my fourth tooth fell bro­ken from my mouth ask me if I drank mt dew, I told him yes and he specif­i­cal­ly said that was my prob­lem I can­not find any­thing on any class action suit on this mat­ter and now I need to have my whole top row pulled and three or four of my bot­tom I wish do see and do some­thing about this . Pep­si should def­i­nite­ly have labels that say may cause tooth decay or some­thing along that nature. I look like I have been doing meth for years because of Dew and I didn't have a cav­i­ty until I was in my ear­ly thir­ties. So please if any­one knows any­thing please email me at jay.​woodyard@​yahoo.​com

  2. Kevin says:

    I also suf­fer from "Dew Mouth". I was unaware of the major dam­age it could do even with brush­ing 3x dai­ly. The chron­ic pain asso­ci­at­ed with the oral dam­age it does is amaz­ing, almost as amaz­ing at the fast rate of which it destroys the teeth. Dr Levin in Indi­anapo­lis Indi­ana can remove and replace an entire upper row for $2,000. I am very pleased with his work. Pep­si Cola has no warn­ings of the dam­age this prod­uct does. Nor does it men­tion the addic­tive nature it also has. I am cur­rent­ly attempt­ing to gath­er names and info for a class action law suit vs Pep­si for prod­uct lia­bil­i­ty. If you suf­fer from this well know con­di­tion please cotact me so that I may bring it to the atten­tion of lawyers will­ing to tack­le this issue.Strength in numbers.​sly12b@​hotmail.​com

  3. debbie says:

    My son has md mouth age 28 and it is the worse weight loss , can't eat, and a social life what is that? I found a den­tist that will do the work for 3.600 we are try­ing to raise the funds so Jere­my can get his life back. Nev­er had a cav­i­ty in his life until he start­ed drink­ing moun­tain dew every day. By the way the ingre­di­ent in moun­tain dew has been banned from over 100 coun­tries. It rots your bones and teeth boz for short sup­posed to be an preser­v­a­tive haha i have been at this for almost 2 years, and before I knew it his teeth start­ed crack­ing away and under­neath was black teeth. Please help if you can if you know of any den­tal foun­da­tion or char­i­ty that will help Jere­my. Thank you debbieann4555@​aol.​com

  4. LaVonne says:

    You are a fun­ny man, Rusty!

  5. Rusty says:

    Hir­ing a hook­er always helps me change.

  6. LaVonne Swaney says:

    So…let us do some­thing about the prob­lem at hand, Jeff.
    Don't just pass through town with your "poet­ic notions"..
    DO SOMETHING..she lived raw..that dirty blonde.…SPARE ME!!
    Hire a hook­er. Be active in change…let me know how too…an I will join in with YOU!

  7. Jeff says:

    I was stuck behind a pick­up at a red light. To my right was Grind­staff Chevro­let. To my left flowed the Wata­ga Riv­er, swift and cold. Ahead of me was a blue pick­up — mod­el unremembered.

    In this pick­up sat two, by the close prox­im­i­ty, lovers. The woman sat in the mid­dle and her man was hold­ing the wheel — the light was red, remem­ber. The woman was eat­ing some­thing off her fin­gers, some­thing that was obvi­ous­ly deli­cious, because she seemed in the midst of an orgasm. She turned and stuffed her coat­ed fin­gers into her man's mouth so he could enjoy some of that heav­en­ly con­coc­tion that had deliv­ered her to such culi­nary heights.

    As I sat and won­dered what could it be that she licked and sucked so seduc­tive­ly from her nim­ble dig­its, she raised her oth­er hand to push back a strand of dirty blond hair, and I saw it -

    a can of pot­ted meat. 

    I'll nev­er for­get her. She lived raw, she loved raw, and she ate her pot­ted meat raw from her fingers. 

    True sto­ry.

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